In a leadership meeting a few years back, tension was running high.

Not long ago, I sat in on a meeting where two managers went head-to-head.

One wanted to double down on efficiency. The other argued for more investment in people. Both had good points. Neither was budging.

The longer it went, the less it was about solving the problem—and the more it was about winning the argument.

That’s when Fred, my Executive Chair at the time, dropped a line I’ll never forget:

👉 “You can disagree. You can’t be disagreeable.”

It shifted the energy instantly. The managers realized the goal wasn’t to “win” but to get it right. With that mindset, they found common ground: invest smartly in people while tightening processes to pay for it.

The best leaders don’t dig in their heels to protect their ego. They lean into conflict with a growth mindset, knowing the tension is what produces better answers.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about who was right—it’s about getting it right together

That’s the power of Fred’s advice. Disagreement fuels progress. Disrespect kills it.

When was the last time you saw conflict turn into collaboration?